Hug Tighter, Laugh Easier, & Love Harder.

Today I was reminded that I need to hug tighter, laugh easier, and love harder.

I was reminded...

That tomorrow is not promised, not even the next minute.

That life is completely passing me by.

How completely blessed I am.

How God does things that we will probably never understand.

That family is your rock. So don't let them slip through the cracks.

How important it is to tell your loved ones exactly how much you love them. Every. Single. Day.

How hard it is to say goodbye.

How much I take for granted.

How I keep wishing for more when I really do have enough.

How special and important love is.

Love is everything. Hold onto it tight. And never let it go.

Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

1 Corinthians 13:7

What to do, what to do?!

Warning: This post is probably going to get really confusing :)

So right now I am working as a part-time receptionist, but I was hired on as only temporary. They didn't give me an exact date of when they wouldn't need me anymore. So I have been applying for other jobs because I didn't want to run into the situation of them telling me they don't need me anymore & then I'm jobless. I wanted to be ahead of the game. So I applied and applied and applied. 

I then got an interview on March 26th. They loved me & practically hired me on the spot, but had to make sure I didn't have a criminal background. So then on Thursday I went into work [my receptionist job] & they told me they wouldn't need me in 2-3 weeks. After work I received a phone call & was offered the job. Kinda crazy how that worked out, huh? I accepted the job & I am set to start April 16th. 

Let me give you some background info about the job I accepted.  I get a laptop, my own desk, a little verizon hotspot wifi, & the title of Care Coordinator. In a nut shell, I will go into people's homes and make sure everything is going okay with the parents and children. I will give them whatever resources I can and do reports for DHS. I will drive all around the county [I will get paid mileage] to meetings with the families and drop off children if needed. The pay isn't great, but you have to start somewhere. This job is beyond full-time, meaning 40-45 hours, however it can even be up to 60 hours a week. It also requires weekends sometimes.

Okay, now remember I am also a full-time grad student. That meaning I am taking 9 credit hours, which doesn't sound like a lot because in undergrad I'd take 15-18 credit hours a semester, but somehow I think I'd go crazy if I had any more hours. This is my first semester as a grad student & it is only going to get harder from here on out. 

I was excited at first when I applied because this job required a bachelors degree and with my just graduating in December I was so excited to put all my hard work now into use! I then got an interview. I wasn't excited at all. I don't know why - there was just no excitement there. I then went to the interview - I wasn't the least bit nervous. I get nervous VERY easily and for the most minor things. It was so weird. It was the easiest , flow-iest, one of the best interviews I'd ever had because I was so at ease. There were no signs of nerves. At all. I then was offered the job & accepted it & again I wasn't really that excited. I wasn't jumping up & down screaming [like I was when I found out I was accepted into grad school]. 

So now my last day at the receptionist job will be April 15th and my first day at the new job will be April 16th. I am having second thoughts & doubts constantly. I know that I will learn an immense amount & it will be great to put on my resume. I love that you have to have a degree to have this job because I didn't get a degree for nothing! I know this job is important & I will be changing lives & it will be extremely rewarding. 

But there is something holding me back. 

I don't know if I will be able to handle this job & go to grad school. It just sounds like way too much. I will have no life. I will literally get up, go to work, go to school, and go to bed. Only to do it all over the next day. That doesn't sound appealing to me at all. I understand that you have to work your way up & may have to start out with a crappy job, but I don't feel like I'm in that point in my life where I necessarily have to do that just yet. I'm worried that this job will become my # 1 priority when school needs to be my #1 priority right now. I'm in school learning about what I'm going to do for the rest of my life & I just don't feel like a job should overtake that. As weird as it may sound I feel like this job would rob me of all the potential I have for grad school. I feel like the only reason I am taking this job is because my receptionist gig is over & I need a job. I can't be jobless. End of story. I have to have a job. 

So I have been praying & praying trying to figure out what to do, but I feel like I am getting no direction whatsoever. I feel so lost. I have no idea what the right decision is or if there even is a right decision. I don't know what God wants me to do. I don't know if he is giving me the option to pick or if I am just not listening.  I keep thinking "this is a sign for me to do this" but then something else happens and I think that's a sign to do the opposite. What am I supposed to do when I have no idea what direction God is pointing me towards? 

So right now I'm continuing to pray about it & will hopefully have reached a decision before I start the new job. Please pray for me to figure out what I'm supposed to do because this girl has no clue!

This was totally longer than I intended it to be. I could have totally written way more, but I'm done I promise! If you read the whole things you are a trooper & if you skipped the middle part then I don't blame you - I would have done the same :)

Cupcakes & Pizza

Whenever I watch The Biggest Loser it almost makes me sick because by the end of the show these people are practically skinnier than me. 

Ouch. 

These people started out being incredibly obese & now they have hotter rockin' bods than I do. 

What.The.Heck.

I'm 22 years old. I have the potential to have ABS. Rockin' hard abs, but instead I eat cupcakes & pizza. And it doesn't really bother me until I flip the channel to The Biggest Loser and they are hott. Mega Hott. And I'm a pig.

A disgusting pig. Okay I'm exaggerating, but you get my point. So while I may never get abs [I like cupcakes wayyy too much], I might actually be able to run, lets say, a half marathon someday! So starting April 1st I decided to really push myself & get that [sorta] hott bod that I've never had! I feel like since I'm writing this out to the public I'm going to have to stick with it & would hate to disappoint you all. I really want to post before & after pictures of my journey, but I feel way to self-conscious at this point in my life to do that. So I plan on taking some & will  post them when I'm feeling better about it!

Seriously, look at Dani. What a babe.

Hey Beautiful ;)

Andy[my boyfriend]: You look so cute today!

Me: You're just saying that cause you have too.

This happens all of the time. Literally allllll of the time.

When a stranger gives me a compliment it seriously makes my whole entire day. It boosts my self-esteem. I feel good, pretty, and confident. It puts a huge smile on my face.

But when Andy, my family, or friends give me a compliment of some sort it honestly doesn't mean much to me. They love and care about me so much, so of course they think that. It'd be kind of weird if they didn't. I'd be a little offended if my parents didn't think I was the prettiest princess of all the lands [along with my sisters]. And I'd be really upset if my boyfriend didn't find me even slightly attractive. That is just the way it is supposed to be. They are kind of obligated to feel that way, aren't they? My parents wouldn't be oddballs if they didn't. My boyfriend would be a weirdo if he had a girlfriend that he wasn't attracted to. They kind of have to think you're cute. 

Strangers don't have too. They don't have the obligation. They can think whatever the heck they want about me. Cute, ugly, fat, skinny, pretty...they get to pick. And I think that is why it fuels my confidence when someone that doesn't have to think you're attractive, but does. And it means it. Genuinely means it. 

I don't get compliments on a regular basis. It's usually more of a once in a blue moon kind of thing.

But then I think about the compliments I do receive from my loved ones. Those are constant. A practically everyday occurrence. I wonder what it would feel like if they stopped. 

And then I realized...

Since when did some random guy's compliment mean more to me than the compliments that the man I fell in love with gives me? How does that even make sense? Since when did his compliments become not enough? Since when did the way my parents view me become unimportant and meaningless? Those are the ones I would be lost without. If my parents didn't remind me just how beautiful they think I am then I wouldn't ever think I was. If Andy didn't tell me how pretty I am to him then I would think I wasn't.

Our loved ones mean the most to us. They tell us the raw, dirty things we don't want to hear. They are honest - right down to the bare truth. They make us stronger, better people. And they think we are absolutely beautiful. It's about time we start believing them.

Divinely Beautiful.

I don't know about you, but looking in the mirror each morning can be the worst battle I have to fight. It truly is a miracle if I walk out of the door feeling confident. 

Call me pathetic, but it must be a girl thing. If you're a woman and this doesn't apply to you then you are so incredibly amazing. Teach me your ways. Please. As women we compare ourselves daily to the women that surround us. It is a never ending game we play in our heads. I go to work & there's a woman that comes in dressed completely in high fashion clothes. I go to class & there's women there that don't have a hair out of place. I go to the gym & there's the girl there that makes me look the opposite of sexy. I struggle with feeling pretty, beautiful, confident, on a regular basis but then I start to think...

Why on earth do I do this to myself? Why do we women torture ourselves? Belittle ourselves? We are so much better than that. We are strong. We are brave. We are beautiful in every way possible. We are all beautiful in different ways. I don't know why this is so hard to remember, but it is. Someone made this for me in college [the picture below] & it really hit home for me. Maybe it will do the same for you.

It starts at the word "Oh." You probably can't read it so here's what it says:

 Oh, how it must offend our creator when we look in the mirror and criticize the beautiful handiwork of his fingertips, calling ourselves "fat" and "ugly." How it must break the Father's heart when the very girl whom he gave the heavens believes she is unloved and worthless. Nothing could be further from the TRUTH. For as daughters of God we are loved beyond comprehension. It's time we see ourselves as we really are. If Jesus says "you're worth it," you're worth it. If the maker of the stars & sky says "you're beautiful," you're beautiful. God doesn't make junk and mistakes. Jesus died so we could be free from the strongholds & deceptions of the enemy. We should be walking in freedom and stop believing the lies. So join me in holding your head high, for there is ROYAL blood pumping through your veins. Begin to speak, think, & act like a Princess, for our daddy is King! Look in the mirror and smile, we are forgiven, precious, loved, and divinely beautiful.


I am fearfully and wonderfully made. God didn't make a mistake. I am exactly the way I am supposed to be. I wouldn't chose to be anyone else. Not in a million years. And neither should you.

Hello Friends :-)

I've always wanted to start a blog, but I hate people reading my writing and I didn't think I'd ever keep up with it. Well all that's about to change :) I am a terrible writer - it takes me forever to figure out where to start and how to get it rolling - so I really don't know why on earth you are even reading this :)  I just really wanted somewhere to talk about all things girly, fun, fit, faith, and random things that happen throughout my life! I love reading other blogs and getting other ideas, inspiration, tips, and life lessons. I'm calling my blog Becoming Beautiful & onmywaytobeingbeautiful because as a 22-year-old woman I find it something incredibly hard to do. To...Feel beautiful. Feel confident. Feel invincible. And most of all loving yourself. How are you supposed to feel beautiful, confident, and invincible when loving yourself is something that is still in the works? And that my friends is what this blog is all about...Loving the woman God has made you to be :)